Some personalities tend toward the gentle and nurturing side of life, so when they collide with the bold, sometimes brash, and clearly honest type of personalities, they tend to think the honest people are mean. Being honest is not being mean. Being honest is truthfully letting the other person know how their response to you effects you. Honesty builds trust; you know how there’s some people who will just tell it like it is? Sometimes you don’t like what they say, but you need to hear it.
One place our society really wants honesty is in the medical profession. Our society pays medical people to be honest. Think about it: I paid the dentist a lot of money to poke around in my teeth to tell me they are somewhat healthy, but I need to floss. I went back four months later, and they told me I still have a lot of plaque, so I should be flossing every day. It took me the third time to really get the point that they wouldn’t have to scrape at my teeth so much if I just flossed EVERY DAY! Learning how to transition out of that too-nurturing and gentle tendency toward being honest mixed with love has been a journey for me. I’ve swung toward to harsh and honest side sometimes, but with loving feedback from friends, I’m learning how to be balanced.
Sometimes we need people to be repeatedly, lovingly honest toward us–sometimes we have to pay them (I’m flossing more often now!), but sometimes they are old friends who care for us enough to let us know the truth, and who still love us even when we hurt them. Working toward that type of relationship is something I desire. I desire to be around people who will tell me the truth in love, even when it’s hard.