Several weeks ago my Dad, an old friend I hadn’t seen in years, and a close friend within 24-hours all wanted to set me up with different guys they knew or knew of through friends. I wasn’t interested in the first two guys, but the last one made me curious; my close friend described him as “short, sincere, and I think you two are similar in some ways.” (Or at least from her friend’s description of him). I wasn’t sure how to take that, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I let my friend finagle her plan. She was in cahoots with her friend who knew this guy, so she had her friend bring this guy to a party she was having, then we could meet. My friend warned beforehand: “My matchmaking skills have never worked.” I just laughed and reassured her I was open to it just to see what would happen.
On the day of the blind-date (blind-hanging out at a party), I threw something on, played with my hair a bit, but still was late to the party. Once I arrived, my friend happily introduced me to this guy who had come to the party to meet me. We enjoyed the food and talking about places we have travelled and desire to travel to; our friends drifted in and out of the conversation, so it was nice to have that support.
Then the guy had to get to a meeting, so he shook my hand, said, “Nice to meet you. Good-bye!” And that was that. Later I found out that he thought I was nice, but not a good match for him.
Even though I hardly knew him, the rejection in “you’re not a good match” stung. I’ve been hearing that phrase a lot recently. It’s hard to hear, but I can come at it two different ways. One way: I can take the rejection to heart and believe I’m an unlovable person (which is a LIE) and stop trying. Or I could realize that I’m only looking for ONE person, so as I date, each person that says “No,” leads me closer to the one that will want to be with me for life. I choose the option to keep going.
Part of me wondered if I had done something wrong on the blind date until my Mom reminded me: “This rejection has more to do with him than you. You don’t need to take it as a rejection of yourself.” He didn’t want to come closer to me, and that’s his right, but I’m just as valuable as before I met him, and I’m thankful for the experience.
So for all of us who know the sting of rejection: The truth is that we are not made to be rejected, so when it happens, it’s jarring. It goes against the fabric of our being. We are made to be accepted, treasured, longed for, and just belong in loving relationships. May you be filled with belonging this week.