The word to describe yesterday would be bittersweet: In the morning, the reality of my Dad possibly passing away soon hit home. I’m thankful for tears and the release they bring. Then I switched gears to party preparations for a party for my fiancé passing a huge test that advances his career. I went over to his house, turned on a funny movie and got chopping: white chili, finished the red chili, fruit salsa…
God helped me switch from the bitter/sad to the sweet mode. (Stephen helped too because he was so understanding and brought me bright flowers!) 40-50 people came through the open house and celebrated Stephen with us!! Love flowed (and lots of food!)
I’m so thankful for my Dad: his creativity, his encouragement with my education, and all his prayers! Those prayers led me to my fiancé, and I hope Dad will be at our wedding in June, but if his time to go is soon, I let him go–he has blessed Stephen and I.
When I was fifteen I completed this several year long program at church which ends with a fancy ceremony where I got to wear a white dress and receive a crown. Part of the ceremony was my Dad walking me down the aisle. I’m so thankful for that memory!
So yesterday was a bittersweet day of processing the two most important men in my life–letting go of Dad and celebrating with Stephen. I’m thankful that I’m learning to shift between the sadness and joy because so much of life is like that. I can still have the joy of my approaching wedding be building while grieving about the changes in my Dad; so I need to cry pretty often, but then I can wipe the tears away and smile again. (And I’m doing that right now!)