Is it harder for older sisters to get married? Yes, I think it is. Birth order does matter; older children just have different pressures and experiences than their younger siblings, and this can influence their love lives. Especially this holiday season I’ve seen more Google searches that lead older sisters to my article “My Younger Sister is Getting Married, and I’m Still Single” that I wrote two and a half years ago; now it is time to follow up that piece. What has happened with my love life? What have I learned since then?
You’ve seen it: A cigarette dangling from a lady’s slender fingers, as the smoke spirals up above her head; these images have a seductive pull to them, but they are deadly. I love a lot of people who smoke, but I hate what that nicotine-filled smoke does to them. Smoking killed my brother-in-law.
My brother-in-law, Don, created intricate, graceful pieces of furniture for people who desired custom-built furniture. His creativity came out through creating his fine furniture, drawing, and what he talked about.
Wedding Lessons: Helpful Things to Know
Last week my sister married her best friend Danny!
Here’s some helpful and fun things that I learned from helping with my sister’s wedding:
-Ruth gave all of her bridesmaids a soft pink robe to wear as we were getting ready for the ceremony. It made us all feel special and beautiful. The dresses she had us pick from also looked great on all of us; a dusty mauve and we got to pick styles that fit us :).
-Make sure your parents get to the church! When we came down from our hotel room, my parents had missed the shuttle, so we all crowded into the limo, and we all made it to the church in time.
-At the ceremony in the church, just seeing how joyful and happy Ruth and Danny were made me beam! The Ave Maria made me tear up.
-Fresh flowers are worth the money. My sister chose roses, and their fragrance added to the beauty of the day.
-Donuts instead of wedding cake is a fun change of pace. My sister got The Donut Vault to drive their old-fashioned donut truck to the venue to serve amazing, moist cake donuts! Triple chocolate, chestnut, and wedding cake were among the options. My sister had two for everyone, and there were a lot left over.
-Live music and dancing added to the night. Danny and Ruth’s dance lessons paid off because they looked like they knew what they were doing. They are a handsome couple.
-Having over a year to plan gave my sister time to plan a gorgeous wedding. It also gave us time to get closer, so I’m thankful they took so long.
Congratulations, Ruth and Danny!
Two lives intertwining.
Weaving families into
Supportive cloth around a whole new tribe.
Country roots mixed with suburban beginnings growing into a city family.
Big eyes and gorgeous smiles.
Kindness, creativity, generosity, joy, and much love.
Beginning as barista and customer,
Then becoming friend to friend,
Maturing into Paris love and engagement.
Today, Irish marriage awaits at the alter, followed by French food, and an Italian honeymoon is Venice.
Happy Wedding Day, Ruth and Danny!
1. You are free to focus on, serve, and help your sister without neglecting a husband and kids.
2. You can learn lots about wedding planning, so that you can do it well when your turn comes. (For example, create a bridal emergency kit to take to the wedding!)
3. You get to develop your style more and figure out what bridal gowns you love, while encouraging and helping your sister.
4. You are not the one all stressed out!
5. You get to throw a personal, relaxing bachelorette party. (I had fun sewing her a bridal vail for her to wear!)
6. You get to pray for your sister, and give a thoughtful, maybe tearful toast at the wedding.
7. You get to be proud of your sister for figuring out this dating thing, getting engaged, and now get to send her off into wedded bliss.
So this season has taught me a lot. I’m so thankful I’ve gotten closer to my sister through it, and I get to continue enjoying single life, dating, and creating a home to share with family and friends.
My sister’s time came; I have hope that my time will come too. So one last advantage is that you have some wonderful adventures ahead of you!
Why do younger sisters seem more relaxed, more able to flirt, date, and get engaged than their older, more “responsible,” (but perhaps more reserved) sisters? Younger sisters getting married first has been happening since Rachel and Leah in the Bible. I have several friends in the same situation; we tend to be the introverted, artistic type. In the last year I’ve learned that guys need encouragement sometimes, so when you are on the shy-ish side, it’s harder to open up and show a guy you’re interested. Younger sisters seem to be able to not think so hard about things and just enjoy the present. For example, Marianne Dashwood in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, just lets her interest in Mr. Willaby come whooping out! Her heart gets broken, and then she finds more mature love. Eleanor keeps her feelings mostly pent up inside, but she eventually lets them out, and does find love.
I hoped I could have been married by now so the “younger sister first” wouldn’t happen to me. However, it is: my younger sister is getting married before me. I’m not very competitive, so that helps. I’m not even taking a date to the wedding because I’m the maid of honor and have interference to run between certain wedding guests, and speeches to make.
I have a bit of an ache in my heart because I would enjoy to have someone to dance and talk with at the wedding, but I am peaceful. It helps that I’ve been able to mentally prepare for this marriage because my sister dated for years.
My peace comes from knowing that God has a good plan for my life, and I can trust Him to bring the man for me into my life at the right time. I’m open, excited for my sister, and hopeful for the future. And I’m learning how to flirt a bit!