Trees of Transition

Comfort for people going through life transitions by sharing thoughts, photos, cards, and recipes.


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Two and a Half Years after My Article: “My Younger Sister is Getting Married, and I’m Still Single”

Is it harder for older sisters to get married? Yes, I think it is. Birth order does matter; older children just have different pressures and experiences than their younger siblings, and this can influence their love lives. Especially this holiday season I’ve seen more Google searches that lead older sisters to my article “My Younger Sister is Getting Married, and I’m Still Single” that I wrote two and a half years ago; now it is time to follow up that piece. What has happened with my love life? What have I learned since then?

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Life updates: My love life has blossomed since I wrote that article, and I am now married to a wonderful man named Stephen (you can see engagement photos here: Our Silly Engagement Photos ). My younger sister is still ahead of me by becoming a mother to a wonderful little guy and having another one on the way. I had to practice what I wrote again when my younger brother got engaged before me too, but I still got married before him, so I wasn’t the last child in our family to get married. Some lessons I’ve realized about how to help love grow include learning to relax, trusting God’s timing, and being willing to risk love.

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My Younger Sister is Getting Married, and I’m Still Single

Why do younger sisters seem more relaxed, more able to flirt, date, and get engaged than their older, more “responsible,” (but perhaps more reserved) sisters? Younger sisters getting married first has been happening since Rachel and Leah in the Bible. I have several friends in the same situation; we tend to be the introverted, artistic type. In the last year I’ve learned that guys need encouragement sometimes, so when you are on the shy-ish side, it’s harder to open up and show a guy you’re interested. Younger sisters seem to be able to not think so hard about things and just enjoy the present. For example, Marianne Dashwood in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, just lets her interest in Mr. Willaby come whooping out! Her heart gets broken, and then she finds more mature love. Eleanor keeps her feelings mostly pent up inside, but she eventually lets them out, and does find love.

I hoped I could have been married by now so the “younger sister first” wouldn’t happen to me. However, it is: my younger sister is getting married before me. I’m not very competitive, so that helps. I’m not even taking a date to the wedding because I’m the maid of honor and have interference to run between certain wedding guests, and speeches to make.

I have a bit of an ache in my heart because I would enjoy to have someone to dance and talk with at the wedding, but I am peaceful. It helps that I’ve been able to mentally prepare for this marriage because my sister dated for years.
My peace comes from knowing that God has a good plan for my life, and I can trust Him to bring the man for me into my life at the right time. I’m open, excited for my sister, and hopeful for the future. And I’m learning how to flirt a bit!

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Copyright 2019

P.S. Thank you for stopping by! I insert affiliate links, such as from  Amazon, into my posts to share interesting books and products. If you buy something or start a registry, I receive income (at no extra cost to you!), for which I am thankful. So…..

— Use this link to shop on  Amazon

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Thank you again, and peace to you and your family!

~Mary Hope