Is it harder for older sisters to get married? Yes, I think it is. Birth order does matter; older children just have different pressures and experiences than their younger siblings, and this can influence their love lives. Especially this holiday season I’ve seen more Google searches that lead older sisters to my article “My Younger Sister is Getting Married, and I’m Still Single” that I wrote two and a half years ago; now it is time to follow up that piece. What has happened with my love life? What have I learned since then?
Why do younger sisters seem more relaxed, more able to flirt, date, and get engaged than their older, more “responsible,” (but perhaps more reserved) sisters? Younger sisters getting married first has been happening since Rachel and Leah in the Bible. I have several friends in the same situation; we tend to be the introverted, artistic type. In the last year I’ve learned that guys need encouragement sometimes, so when you are on the shy-ish side, it’s harder to open up and show a guy you’re interested. Younger sisters seem to be able to not think so hard about things and just enjoy the present. For example, Marianne Dashwood in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, just lets her interest in Mr. Willaby come whooping out! Her heart gets broken, and then she finds more mature love. Eleanor keeps her feelings mostly pent up inside, but she eventually lets them out, and does find love.
I hoped I could have been married by now so the “younger sister first” wouldn’t happen to me. However, it is: my younger sister is getting married before me. I’m not very competitive, so that helps. I’m not even taking a date to the wedding because I’m the maid of honor and have interference to run between certain wedding guests, and speeches to make.
I have a bit of an ache in my heart because I would enjoy to have someone to dance and talk with at the wedding, but I am peaceful. It helps that I’ve been able to mentally prepare for this marriage because my sister dated for years.
My peace comes from knowing that God has a good plan for my life, and I can trust Him to bring the man for me into my life at the right time. I’m open, excited for my sister, and hopeful for the future. And I’m learning how to flirt a bit!