Trees of Transition

Comfort for people going through life transitions by sharing thoughts, photos, cards, and recipes.


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When Do You Throw Away Old Love Letters?

The envelope in the back of the closet, that gets pulled out once in a while and perused–when should it get thrown away?

Spoken words can be remembered pretty exactly, but when someone writes you a love letter, you can read it over and over and the words feel fresh. You hear the words exactly.

Both of my grandmas had kept the love letters from when they were getting to know their spouses in the 1930s and 1940s. One grandma even had letters from other guys she had dated… It intrigued me to see what my grandpas had written, see their handwriting, and read what they felt about my grandmas.

I’m thankful that my grandmas had saved those letters through moves, turbulence, and after my grandpas had passed away.

So if you know you are going to marry this person, then keep the letters. The cards and words will draw forth memories of sweet and passionate times from the start of your relationship, and possibly help add more sizzle to the current relationship. We forget how to love well at times and need to be reminded.

But after a break-up, then when is it time to pitch those sweet cards and notes into the trash? Do I want my grandchildren to find old notes from someone other than their grandfather?

No, I don’t. Once I’m in another serious relationship I would for sure pitch the letters, but it’s sort of comforting to keep them until then. Or is now the time? Is it healthier to just get rid of them, feel the gap, and trust that the right guy will come?

I think so; I’ll be brave and let them go. Good-bye letters, hello future love!

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